Building Confidence in a Shy Child

Independence & Confidence · 5 min read

Shyness is not a defect to be corrected. Plenty of thoughtful, capable adults were quiet children. The goal is not to make your child louder. It is to make sure shyness never becomes a cage.

Stop apologising for them

Saying sorry, he is shy in front of your child sends a clear message that something is wrong with them.

Describe the behaviour instead, or say nothing at all. Let your child decide how to present themselves.

Prepare rather than push

Reserved children do much better when they know what is coming. Explain who will be there, what will happen, and how long it lasts.

Advance warning removes the biggest source of anxiety, which is uncertainty.

Give a low pressure role

A job gives a shy child a reason to interact that is not about being sociable. Handing out plates. Holding the map. Carrying the water bottle.

The task does the talking, which takes the spotlight off them.

Let them warm up on their own schedule

Do not force an instant greeting or a performance. Give your child time and space to settle, then let them choose when to join.

The more they feel in control, the more likely they are to step forward.

Want the doing to be easier than the reading?

From getting chores done without a dozen reminders to learning how to earn, save, spend and make good decisions, LegacyQuest makes growing up a little more fun. Kids take on real life missions, build confidence, and discover what they are capable of. And you get to enjoy watching it happen.